Trafficking/Prostitution

Learning how to be Human

In prostitution, trauma, Rebecca Mott, trafficking on 2012/07/05 at 9:32 pm
rebecca mott, survivors connect network, human trafficking, prostitution, sex work, sexual slavery, ptsd, trauma, dehumanization, dissociation, torture

But there was a part of me … that was reaching for another life – that found it loved Phillip K Dick. I found his universe made sense of my prostituted soul.

Another brave, honest post from extraordinary survivor writer Rebecca Mott.  Here’s an excerpt:

I, like most exited women who were in the sex trade long-term – I am slowly finding what it is to be human.

When exited women speak of trauma – they speak of be utterly lost to how humans communicate, lost to the simple routines of being human, lost to be outside the role of appearing human.

It is trauma that is embedded in us – and we have learnt to be like a human, but only as androids are in a Phillip K Dick short story.

I learnt to be human by copying.

It is why I love films, it is why I read fiction, it is why I love to be in a crowd – it is why I am watcher.

I can repeat the actions of what I think it must be to be human – but more often than not, I do so without emotion or able to stop the emptiness inside in me.

I have no idea what it is to be unique – for by copying and being the role that pleases, I have no idea if I am any more than an empty shell.

With the logical side of my brain, I know I am more than a copy, more than a role – but there is always the constant fear that I still am nothing but what makes others feel makes me human.

Many years ago I read or had read to me by a punter –  ”Do Androids Dream of Sheep”.

At the time, it was the beginning of a small voice saying you are more than a role.

Read the rest of this powerful piece at Rebecca’s blog www.rmott62.wordpress.com.

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