Trafficking/Prostitution

I’m Not the Only One Who was Mistreated in Prostitution

In Dublin Call Girl, rants, sex work on 2012/03/07 at 10:51 pm

survivors connect, dublin call girl, human trafficking, prostitution, sex trafficking, sex work

Sister survivor Dublin Call Girl has a moving new post up on her blog where she shares the feedback she’s gotten from trafficking and prostitution survivors. It’s called  I am not Alone.   The title has deep meaning because when we trafficking/prostitution survivors speak out the sex industry lobby swoops in to silence us.  We’re dismissed with the excuse that the violence and abuse we experienced is a lone incident caused by a flaw in our character.  It seems the sex industry is so great  — Valentine’s Day all year-long — that no one else has a story like ours.   A lot of  this blowback comes from online pimps, usually white and sometimes female, who pose as ‘sex worker’ activists.  Sometimes it comes from Johns and Punters who feel the truth might threaten their little hobby.  Survivors Connect network members aren’t the only women getting this treatment.  Jillian Lauren, who wrote a best-selling memoir of her life as a stripper and in a harem in Brunei, was recently vilified in the comments section of an interview because she mentioned childhood sexual abuse.  It’s implied that since she was sexually abused her story doesn’t count.

Dublin Call Girl responds brilliantly to this denial by sharing the moving comments she’s received from women who’ve survived the sex industry.  She’s not alone.  Of course she’s not.   Here’s an excerpt:

I’m not the only one who has been mistreated in prostitution, or even just left damaged after being in it. I am not just some unique case, handy to write off because of my past, that you can handily say ‘well you weren’t forced, were you’ to. No I wasn’t forced. The facts remain, regardless of how I got there. If I had been forced I’d be a lot fucking louder than I’m being right now.

Here are some quotes that have been left here, from nine individual women who came across my blog. I never thought that the internet could be such a warm place, full of kindred spirits and support. Love to you ALL.

‘It’s so fucking tough trying to stay so fucking tough”
You’re a brilliant writer.
I too am a retired prostitute and I cry when I read your stuff.

I am a formerly prostituted Irish woman myself and the words you’ve written on here couldn’t be any more my own if you’d lifted them from my own mind.

Oh, the major problems with us exited women is we only have trauma, is because we were stupid enough to “allow” men to rape, batter, torture and murder us. We did not prevent it – so it all the fault of the prostitute, nothing to do with men owning us and having full permission to do any sexual violence they can imagine, or that the sex trade is built on making the prostituted in goods and therefore sub-humans.

Read more here.

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  1. “Jillian Lauren, who wrote a best-selling memoir of her life as a stripper and in a harem in Brunei, was recently vilified in the comments section of an interview because she mentioned childhood sexual abuse. It’s implied that since she was sexually abused her story doesn’t count.”

    I’m reading a book by an exited porn star. She wrote that 90% of women in porn and/or prostitution were in some way violated as children. So if we use the same argument that the sexually abused in porn/prostitution don’t matter, then we would have to dismiss 90% of the females as not mattering. The truth however is that it is the norm for females in porn/porostitution to have been abused as children and this is precisely why they are in porn/prostitution. They may have chosen this but they chose from a place of sickness of victimization, not from a place of empowerment.

    Being born in patriarchy alone is a set up for females to be in porn/prostitution because females in patriarchy have been taught that they were put on this earth to serve men as sex objects and that their own identity apart from men is not important. Then when you enter into this mess childhood trauma especially sexual trauma you have a recipe for females entering into porn/prostitution. It’s ludicrous to not understand this basic concept. The truth is that porn/prostitution would not exist without patriarchy. It would not exist if females were equal in status to men and had the same authority in decision making as men.

    Porn/prostitution exists because of a deficit. Porn/prostitution is a symptom of a diseased society. If we abolish patriarchy and heal the females who have lived under it, porn/prostitution would cease to exist.

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